Where and how to begin?

There was a fleeting moment. I could have intercepted. But I didn’t.

I could have gotten up and started writing. Instead I started scrolling.

Many things on my mind over the last 24 hours.

And in the conversation this evening.

What’s left is - that when my friend left and I needed to breath - not because she’s hard work but because my system had been very active. I just did what I wanted and watched an episode.

What if I let myself, my system have the break it needed?

What if that is a part that is looking after the other parts?

That’s so nice of it.

What if I’m not trying to change this part? What if I listen to it - to listen to it and let it do it’s thing - because when I do- when I trust my parts magic happens. Things always work out. There is so much ease.

We talk about the relationship of the parts with the Self but that still has this sense, in my experience that the Self is the be-all-and-end-all. That sovereign being. But parts aren’t less. They aren’t inferior in the system.

To be in relation, the Self also needs to learnt to trust the parts.

To let them do their jobs.

I think pure IFS people would argue then that this is not the Self - but other parts we need to have learn to trust the Self.

But if the Self doesn’t have any agenda, it can’t be impacted then how can this really be an equal relationship?

It’s not.

It’s like dogs tied up to a post. The post is sturdy and grounding. Towering above the dogs, acting like it knows best. The dogs have room to move only within the radius of the self. They can interact with each other. But they can’t influence the post. The post is not affected by the dogs being happy, or loud, or aggressive.

_____________________

Also how much I love that warm, rain, mistyness. Melbourne does that so good.

_____________________

I know my part feels ok because I do not feel compelled. I can maintain a habit or actions that are in service of the life I want to life. Which tonight is a reasonable sleep for the next days activities.

But also when I was hearing the part say to me -to watch the episode it was not a compulsion. It was a ‘we need this’. Calmly, clearly, firmly but without any desperation.

The internal experience is subtle. Very subtle.

I am working on words to articulate it. But I know what this experience is.

The more nuanced I am at this the more magic will happen.