Letting a part speak.

IFS prioritises us speaking for a part not from it.

Maybe this isn’t that. Maybe it is. But I think it’s possible to SOUND like I’m speaking from a part but be speaking for a part.

By making the choice to embody that part. Let it live. Let it say what it has to say then I can hear more from that part.

I will (no longer) force my parts to only speak in the way I determine is appropriate. Because that is just another part that has internalised a belief that there is a right way to do things. That to be valid and to be heard it must conform.

So with that…

I am here for a reason. I’m here to help you. Me getting louder is not because I am getting desperate to protect you from an exile. It is because you are not listening to me. I will not be shamed for doing my job.

All expression is not a sign of dysfunction. It doesn’t mean something fundamentally is broken or wrong. It is simply because I have a message and you are not hearing it. Maybe there are other parts who ARE doing their their job to protect you from an exile. But not all of us are. Some of us are just doing our job.

But we do trigger other protectors who are wanting to keep you safe. They might see as similar to exiles. They think we are part of the problem.

But we have something to say - will you listen?

You still have the choice. You are in control. You make the decision.

But we give you the information to make that decision.

I’m telling you have to be doing something different. It is so nice to have the time to do all this te reo study and this PhD exploration work. And to have other interests but we still need to be doing things on the business. We need to be making money. We need to be taking action. Consistent action. Which, let’s not get doing the same thing over and over again confused with doing something daily. Doing something that will have an impact.

Which is where we get to the crux.

This playing safe, it isn’t going to work.

Safety comes from within. From a knowing that you can respond to what is happening here and now. That you are in control of your own actions. It doesn’t require some knowledge of the future. To have plotted the path and have it perfectly figured out. It comes from being able to be here-and-now and make the best decision possible with the relevant information against the values that you hold.

I am going to be pretty present for the next little while because you have somethings you need to do and my job is to remind you that you can do them. My job is to catalyze you into action. My job is to keep you going forward. Together we can respond to the other parts that come up, as they come up. Not before. We will do this in real-time.

Well isn’t that just magic - our parts have something to tell us? They aren’t just a problem. A thing to be ‘fixed’. They are part of us. They are us.