Blog
Anger, Shame & Hope
A mish-mash of what goes on inside my #busybrain. Welcome to a space I’ve created to befriend my anger and shame. All in the hope of living a life of joy and pleasure.
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I think I might POP
The part that is angry that it has to ‘play the game’. That it has to do the dance with others.
I feel the hiding coming up.
The, well, I’ll just shrink back.
I notice the Performer sit up. Step forward. It sees the way it needs to carry me through the world.
Hold it together like we have it together. Not that we are feeling this deep, deep pain.
That we crave connection. That we want a hug.
Letting a part speak.
IFS prioritises us speaking for a part not from it.
Maybe this isn’t that. Maybe it is. But I think it’s possible to SOUND like I’m speaking from a part but be speaking for a part.
By making the choice to embody that part. Let it live. Let it say what it has to say then I can hear more from that part.
I will (no longer) force my parts to only speak in the way I determine is appropriate. Because that is just another part that has internalised a belief that there is a right way to do things. That to be valid and to be heard it must conform.
So with that…
“We both grew up in families where no one asked directly for what they wanted or needed. We learned to use manipulation and indirectness to get others to give us what we wanted.”