Which part what?
Is that really a part to address or is that another part telling you that?
I’ve been doing IFS, both for myself, in my own therapy and with clients for over a year now.
And what I’ve considered a few times is that many many things I work on in IFS aren’t things that need to be worked on.
I think this when I don’t see the to make progress.
When things seem stagnant, when there seems to be a list of things that need to be sorted before I can be where I want to be.
And I think that’s a part.
A very subtle part.
One that is so very hard to find.
It works by shaming all of my other parts. So it can always find something wrong.
Always.
Any experience that is not me being perfect. Balanced. Any emotional delta. It has to be a unhealed exile or a protector still in overdrive.
But I think that actually many of those parts are ok. Not all exiles will be healed. Not all protectors need to be relaxed - that is them doing their actual job.
But this part wants to shame them.
They can’t win.
They will never win.
It shames the parts of me that take valued action*
It shames the parts of me that have thoughts, feelings, and reactions.
It shames the parts of me that do well.
It shames the parts of me that want to dream.
You get the point.
It’s scared of change.
It worries what will happen if we change. Will we lose relationships we value?
Who will we be? [who even are we?]
It feels that we have it delicately balanced.
It’s hard but it’s known.
It doesn’t know any different.
It’s scared to let go [A video comes to mind - the child afraid to let go of the rope and is extremely distressed - lets go and realises it’s all ok].
How can I love you? How can I help you? What do you need?
It’s like it wants to let go. But really can’t.
The manager of all managers.
Interesting I just had the urge to stop writing and put on lipstick and take selfies.
A part distracting me?
This part?
Ah I’ve lost connection.
That’s ok. That’s a lot. That’s more than I’ve had before.
There will be more.
*a mix of IFS and ACT.