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Anger, Shame & Hope

A mish-mash of what goes on inside my #busybrain. Welcome to a space I’ve created to befriend my anger and shame. All in the hope of living a life of joy and pleasure.

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Blog Roselle O’Brien Blog Roselle O’Brien

The anger is coursing today

It’s kinda annoying being human. Like there is no escape from this. This is how we are.

I notice the part that is over all this and just wants to work.

But I want this sorted for good. < A part? Ugg, see you can just go around in circles with parts like this.

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If nothing is coming up, I’m hiding.

And to think I was worried that after a big emotional process, a deep healing of some wounding, and the nurturing to care for myself in the days that followed, that I then wouldn’t be able to write with emotion again.

Coming to believe that writing with emotion was only reserved for those deep, intense wounds.

And of course, as I got closer, things shut up: I was just scrolling socials for 5 min.

I hear the voice…

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You MUST!

In this moment I choose to see that she just wants what’s best for me. She wants it to work out. She wants me to be joyful, full of pleasure, laughing. She wants me to be free of the pain. Free of the sense of aloneness.

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Roselle O’Brien Roselle O’Brien

Bubbles, Bubbles, Bubbles

And then,

before you know it

It’s there.

The replaying of scenes. The re-imagining of conversations you wish you had had.

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“We both grew up in families where no one asked directly for what they wanted or needed. We learned to use manipulation and indirectness to get others to give us what we wanted.”
— How to Break Free of the Drama Triangle & Victim Consciousness