I’m trying to write.

I’m trying to write.

Why does it not flow? Why do I keep getting stuck? Blank.

I know that I have this in me. I wouldn’t have got this far if I didn’t. But why can’t I access it now?

Whose concerned? Whose worried about what?

They can pull me out so well. Blank. Not even numb. Not even distracted. Just simply blank.

I notice I am not that curious. I am frustrated. I’ve tried to do this many times now. I want to get this written. I want to get this completed. Done. Sorted.

I’m frustrated that this part keeps coming in. It should be simpler.

I am curious why it should be simpler? Why should it be easy?

Okay the part that likes to distract me got me - now I’m annoyed by the noise from the road that I don’t usually notice. I’m replaying conversations I’ve had. Reliving hurts.

The urge to just get <other> things done kicks in. All those others tasks I have been ignoring.

I realise it knows I have an agenda. I want it sorted so I can move on.

I’m not genuinely interested in it.

They know. They always know.

I feel myself soften in acknowledging that.

Doesn’t solve the issue but I feel better so that’s a start.