I want my angry back

I want my angry back.

It’s been quiet on here for a while.

Life has had its ups and downs but the overall intensity of extreme emotions is definitely not there so much anymore.

It’s felt nice; there has been a certain bliss to it.

But something is missing. I feel a void.

Anger, emotion, is what gets me going. Gives me life force.

I am anger.

Is is it because I’m a scorpio? Is it because of my trauma? Who knows.

But I do know I want more expression back. I need more reaction in my life.

I said this to myself this morning and then right on cue, like my part(s) heard me, they came rushing back in and I noticed I was getting frustrated at the slightest of things.

I chuckled.

Come back. But not like that.

Hmmm, is requiring something to modify its behaviour really accepting it?

I’m talking parts here not people. Before the rants begin. We have to stop equating people with parts. They are not the same. The system is not the same. But back to to it….

How do I really accept this part? Really let this part know they are welcome without then living this really disruptive experience. It’s HARD to be that frustrated all the time. To be that activated.

But I do not want to live in shame and shut this part down.

I don’t have the answer but I don’t like the current answers on offer.