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Anger, Shame & Hope
A mish-mash of what goes on inside my #busybrain. Welcome to a space I’ve created to befriend my anger and shame. All in the hope of living a life of joy and pleasure.
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What happens if..
What happens if I just start writing.
No main trailhead. I just start. And see what comes.
Maybe nothing.
I do think this is what my parts worry about when they are worried about being ‘healed’. They are worried about things being bland. Things being boring.
I want to live a beautiful life.
Have a purpose.
Have a why.
Have something greater than you.
This is a narrative I’ve been told many times.
That is the solution to life.
It’s a narrative that dates back to ancient times. Probably longer but I don’t know.
But, there is more to it.
What if it’s a part?
React with strength.
A part having a strong reaction is not always a sign of needing to be healed.
What? Roselle you’re going to upset a lot of people.
Oh well.
This needs to be said.
Who am I if I’m healed?
Scared. So scared.
Like a deep visceral fear.
Of being healed.
So much of my identity is around being hurt, harmed, broken.
“We both grew up in families where no one asked directly for what they wanted or needed. We learned to use manipulation and indirectness to get others to give us what we wanted.”