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Anger, Shame & Hope
A mish-mash of what goes on inside my #busybrain. Welcome to a space I’ve created to befriend my anger and shame. All in the hope of living a life of joy and pleasure.
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I can be fun
Fuck I can be fun.
And funny.
When I let go of the rules I can be so fun. I can do the dance of life. I can be with people.
Could we put a label on it?
There is something about the rise and fall.
The feeling good. Then shutting down.
It's less than before.
The difference between the two.
But it is still there.
And the shame about needing to be 'on the go' to be able to do things. To feel things. To be focused.
But I feel as thought I am steering down the barrel of a familiar situation.
Things put off until last minute.
“We both grew up in families where no one asked directly for what they wanted or needed. We learned to use manipulation and indirectness to get others to give us what we wanted.”