Day 19 - 90 Days of Needs + Rejection

Riddle me this - how can I feel rejected about something I didn’t even want.

Picture this: I was working in a cafe casually over the summer. Three days that’s all. It meet a need of mine from when my burnout-breakdown started. After the first agreed three days I left being happy that I had personally achieved what I needed to achieve.

I’ve mentally moved on.

Then today: I get a text. It says, to the effect - “we don’t need you any more”

Well what a party we had after that.

Anger blew on in - “well we didn’t want you anyway”, “lol and you think I wanted to come back”, and so it went on. It was intense. I felt it strongly through out my whole body - this energy. This intensity. Coupled with this tone of languaging.

I was able to ask - what are you worried is going to happen?

You’ll be rejected came the reply.

With kindness, curiosity and confusion - but how do we get rejected from something we don’t want?

Silence.

Please if you will, tell me more. I want to understand. What are you worried will happen?

I’m worried you will be rejected. I am worried you will be hurt.

I see. I know that you wish to protect me. I know you’re looking out for me. I wish to understand more of what you see that I don’t see.

She wasn’t in a talking mood today. She backed away.

I sent my apologies for coming on too strong.

~~~~~ She’ll be back. I know it.