Day 29 - 90 Day of Needs - When knowing becomes knowing

Sometimes you know something.

You’ve made sense of it.

But then, something happens and you realise you now KNOW it.

And if you’re me. This cycle is often on repeat and you get to KNOW things over and over again 😂

What’s today’s KNOWING moment?

That because all my needs are met that I should be happy.

I’ve talked about this many times before. There was a very strong mentality in my house growing up that because I was fed and safe (all relative by their assessment) that I should be happy.

So I MADE myself be happy. But when you fake happy you end up making yourself EXTRA HAPPY. How much energy and buzzing did I have?

It’s like a catapult - if I’m not this then to be this I must exert all my energy and capacity to be that - and in doing so do it to extreme.

No wonder I was tired.

No wonder my body started falling apart. It was working overtime.

Listening to a talk today and they were sharing the three myths about happiness.

Myth 1: Happiness is the natural state for human beings.

Their explanation was that it is based on the assumption that once our needs are met (food, water, connection) we should be happy. Think a version of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

Rather, they pointed out that the natural state for humans is change.

And just like that it felt like running into a brick wall.

Sometimes it just hits different.

The knowing became KNOWING.

The underlying sense, the part of me that keeps saying, but we have it all. We should be happy. We shouldn’t feeling these other emotions.

We have a great place to live. We eat all the foods we want. We live the lifestyle we want. We have amazing friends. We have achieved some big goals.

WE. SHOULD. BE. HAPPY.

And we are not always happy.

And this feels like a violation. Someone is breaking the rules. This is not how it was meant to be.

The rules were clear - have the things > be happy.

How to get this part of me to understand that we can have all the things? Still want more? Or different? Or for it to keep going? And feel other feelings - and it still be ok.